Sewing, Homeschooling and Craziness

Posts tagged ‘outdoors’

The Crazy Things My Kids Do

Ok…. So today we were driving back from picking up take-out, just Deanna, Joshua and me. Joshua starts throwing himself around in the front seat. For a moment I thought he might be having some sort of fit! I ask him, “What the heck are you doing???” This was his reply, “I wanted to know if there was a tractor-trailer that went sideways and was headed for us, would I be able to get my body under the height of the dashboard where I would be safer.” Ummm……. OK…… But he is 6″2″ and 240 lbs……. Yeah…..

That reminded me of some of the crazy and strange things my kids have said and done. And some of the crazy things that have come out of my mouth in reply to the crazy and strange things my kids have done.

For instance, I was chatting away with my cousin one day (Hi, Amy!!) while the older 2 boys were building a fire in our outdoor fireplace. I see Jacob heading toward it with a gas can. He has on ear buds, so I KNOW he can’t hear me. I start yelling to Joshua to tell his brother, “to NOT throw GAS on the fire!” Yeah…. Who would have thought that I would ever have to say that????

Here is a list of things that have come out of my mouth-

“Don’t set that on fire!”

“Don’t duct tape the cats ears!”

“No, cats do NOT like to swim in the toilet!”

“Do NOT glue your sister’s mouth shut!”

“Take that outside to shoot it!”

“Don’t melt that!”

“No, you can NOT shave the cats!”

“Untie your brother now!”

“Who threw your sister’s glasses out the window???” (This was as we were driving down the road!”

“Who cut off the monkey’s tail???” (It was a stuffed monkey, I swear!) (And I found out YEARS later that it was Joshua.)

“No, you can’t shoot your brother in the butt…Or anywhere else!!!!”

“Get that firecracker out of your nose!”

“No, you cannot ride the goat.”

“Guinea pigs do not like to wear clothes.”

“Do NOT grab the snapping turtle by the tail!”

Then there are the things that I cringe when hearing….. Any time a child is in the bathroom, flushes the toilet and says, “Uh, oh!”

Anytime anyone yells for a towel, QUICK!

I also know that if someone throws goop at the ceiling and you don’t get it down right away it will dry like CEMENT! Same goes for silly string. Also, if you spray silly sting in the shape of a smiley face on aluminum siding, the smiley face will stay there even if you wash the silly string off quickly…..

Jacob was 2 yrs old and climbed into the washing machine while it was filling up with water. He has soap suds all over him.

Another time, also when Jacob was 2, he climbed into the dryer and couldn’t get out. All I could hear were his muffled cries of help.

When Joshua was 3 he climbed on top of the washer and got a box of cakes out of the cabinet. He ate EVERY SINGLE ONE.

At Christmas time when the older three were small, I would have to sleep in front of the Christmas tree after we put their presents out to keep them from getting into them. One year when Deanna was 3, Joshua 4 and Jacob 6, it didn’t matter that I was asleep in front of the tree. The little boogers grabbed presents and sneaked out to the garage. Deanna woke me up to tell on them. I go out there and they had already opened several presents. I took the ones that were left in the packages BACK to the store. The other ones I took away and never let them have them back. Rotten, rotten, rotten.

Those are just a FEW of the crazy things my kids have said or done….

Now for some great pictures I have taken over the last few days. ;)

The first few are Cailey and Colin dancing in the falling leaves.

And the next couple are of Cloud, the crazy cat…. LOL

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