Sewing, Homeschooling and Craziness

Posts tagged ‘husband’

For Sale- One Husband, Going Cheap!!!


Yep. You read that right. I am selling The Hubby…. Really, it’s either that or do him bodily harm. Let me tell you what he did to me today and then you tell me what I ought to do….

The girls and I had not been home from church for very long when The Hubby takes his gun outside. This is a normal occurrence so I didn’t think anything about it. The next thing I know I hear a shot. Again, a normal occurrence. Deanna goes into the kitchen and I hear her yell, “Daddy is on the ground!” Scared out of my mind I run out the door. I see him propped up on his arm. I’m yelling and asking him if he’s OK and what happened??? When I get to him I see blood ALL OVER his stomach. It looks like it’s just everywhere! I screamed, “OH MY GOD! I’m getting the ambulance!!” (I NEVER take the Lord’s name in vain. I was calling out to Him.) I start running toward the house with all kinds of scary things going through my mind when I hear The Hubby calling my name. He gets up and walks toward me. It was a joke. A JOKE!!! Yes…. A FREAKING JOKE! When I realize he is OK that’s when I break down and start sobbing. I could now gleefully shoot him myself!!! And Deanna was in on it.

Last night he went to Walmart and bought a big jug of fake blood. Let me tell you, it’s the best fake blood I have ever seen. Scared me to death. I was convinced that he was going to bleed to death!

Oh, and now he’s worried that he may have stained his jeans. Sorry, but I can’t dredge up any sympathy for that. I am still way beyond mad at him.

And of course, he and Deanna think it’s just the funniest thing they have ever seen. GRRRRR!!!!!!!! Talking about they wish they had filmed it. Maybe they should have, it would have been evidence for my defense!!!! ARGH!!!!!

I can’t think of a punishment harsh enough for the two of them!!!


Vudu magik  turns husband into lolcat!






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