When I first started this blog I was unsure if I should even mention FMS. Then I decided that I would be doing a disservice to other sufferers and that I should at least get the word out about it. Now I find myself dealing with a string of bad days. I have always tried not to let FMS get in the way of certain things in my life even though there are other aspects that I can’t control. I let a well tended house go down the drain. I have tried to make peace with that. I just simple cannot keep up with the housework anymore. Vacuuming alone can send me to the bed in agony.
When I started sewing it was definitely a sort of therapy for me. Here is something that I can do and feel as if I am actually accomplishing something! So, I decided to try my best not to let FMS come between me and my sewing.
Well, that was until this week, for the most part.
Sunday started with a migraine. I was able to get it under control until Sunday evening.
Monday started with a migraine. Then shortly after noon it was added to by a toothache.
Same thing on Tuesday.
Here we are at Wednesday and I am still dealing with a toothache while playing tag with the migraines.
On top of all of that I have the “regular” pain of living every day with FMS. My neck, shoulders, back, hips… And that is as long as I don’t aggravate some other part of my body! Then add in the bone weary fatigue.
So, I have gotten NOTHING accomplished this week. We are doing school but even there I am falling behind with what I WANT to do. We are getting the basics done, so that’s good. But the fun stuff has been put to the side because I just don’t have the strength and energy to deal with it while dealing with all this other crap.
I have so much that I want to do this week!! Lord, please give me the patience to deal with all of this. Help me to know that it’s OK if I can’t live up to my “time frame”. The stuff that I want to do will still be there waiting when I feel better. It’s OK to forgive myself if I don’t accomplish everything I set out to do.
Here is my list:
More Bags of Hope and Love
Shorts for Liam
Presents for friends
Items to sell
Finish putting together the Rome lapbook
Start our new science projects
Start our art and music lessons
Start art and crafts
TRY to shampoo the carpets – I used to shampoo my carpets every other week. I haven’t been able to that since January. And since February they have only been shampooed 3 times. WOW, I hated admitting that! LOL But I have to keep it real! Carpets are the bane of my existence. LOL I HATE THEM!!! They are a light wheat color… in a house with 5 kids…. Yeah….
Plus, there has been another little added stress…. We are contemplating a BIG move. The Hubby has been offered an exceptional job in another state. While this is something that is MUCH needed I reallllllllly don’t want to move! I LOVE it here!! I love my church! I love my church family! It has taken me my entire adult life to find a church that feels like “home”. I feel just at home there as I always did at the church I grew up in. That means SO much to me. I can’t imagine having to leave that. But it’s all in God’s hands. And I will pray for and follow His will. I have to remember that I can only see today. HE can see forever.
I promise, this is not a pity party. LOL I am not feeling sorry for myself, just aggravated that I can’t seem to do all that I want to do. I am aggravated that I just can’t get up and kick FMS to the curb! LOL I want to be my old self in the sense that I could take care of and manage everything in my house. But sometimes I have to wonder if that is why I am where I am today. Maybe this is what happens if you push yourself too much for too long? I don’t know.
I have to stop myself from getting angry about it. Not the “why me” angry, but the why can’t I get past this angry. Why does this thing have so much control over what I can and can’t do?? That’s where the anger comes from. And I am just so tired of being tired.
Yesterday after taking The Hubby to work I took a pain pill and went to sleep for a few hours. Then I just sort of stayed in bed until I had to pick him up at 2am. Colin came in to keep me company from time to time. Unfortunately today is looking like it might be another one of those days. I have one pain pill left….. Praying that this toothache is over by tomorrow…… I hate feeling like entire days have gone to waist. But I can’t seem to function properly under ALL of this crud.
SHEW! I have this migraine under control again. Now if only the tooth would behave.
So, this is why I have been quiet since the wee hours of Monday morning when I last posted.
Sorry this has been so depressing.
Here, hopefully this can lift all up! 😉
And since today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
All the photos above have the credits listed on them. 😉